Relationships go through many different seasons, some harder than others. If this is a season that is particularly tough for you and your partner, or if you and your partner have consistently struggled to maintain stability, it may be time to invest in couples counseling. 

Some factors that contribute to challenges in relationships are:

​

• lack of effective communication 

• resentment buildup 

• attachment styles playing out in the relationship

• power dynamic imbalance

• unclear boundaries

• difference in value systems

• breech of trust​

​

We all long for a connection based on and security where we can be ourselves. When this is broken with your partner, it can feel incredibly painful and confusing, and can affect all aspects of your life. These negative patterns can keep you and your partner in a repeating cycle that can feel like a gridlock - each waiting on the other person to see their point of view first. It can start to feel like you are on opposite teams when all you want is to be on the same one. 

​

Couples therapy can help bring to light these underlying needs and emotions that are going unfulfilled and keeping your relationship in this cycle, and help you and your partner better understand each other's inner worlds and work towards connection.

​

Some of the techniques I implement with couples to work through challenges are:

​

• acknowledging and validating your partner in a way they can receive

• helping each other feel loved without giving up what matters most to you

• nervous system check-ins and regulation tools (you will never have a productive interaction when your nervous system is dysregulated, so it is vital to understand your cues when you are getting out of regulation)

• attachment theory: how your individual attachment styles show up in your relationship and how to work towards a more secure attachment with your partner

• effective communication and conflict resolution skills

​

It is normal for couples to argue and go through tough phases, this doesn't have to mean anything about you and your relationship. Each partner is a whole person that comes from a unique background and has their own individual needs and wants; it takes work to make a relationship successful and therapy can help. Through effort on both of your parts, you and partner can begin to learn each other again (or maybe for the first time), and build each other up.